Q: What's the difference between a children's author and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.
Old children's authors never die - they simply drag their tales.
Q: What did the children's author pluck from a vine?
A: A new berry.
Q: What's the difference between a celebrity's children's book and a bucket of poop?
A: The bucket.
Children's Writer: "My manuscripts are like boomerangs. I sent them out and they keep coming back!"
Q: How many children's authors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "But it's perfect the way it is! Why do I have to change it?"
Q: Were children's writers ever kids?
A: Once upon a time.
Q: What do you call a neighborhood of children's authors?
A: Writers block.
Q: Why did the children's author write his book on a cliff?
A: Because his editor asked for "edgy" material.